Why Do I Take Cold Showers?

Who else but a psychotic, serial killing madman or madwoman from West Texas would ever dream of taking torturous showers that are brutally cold? >Ahem< I take delightful frosty showers.

What? That’s crazy; I’d rather be roasted alive in a cannibalistic witch’s burning stove than be subjected to splashing chilly drops of clean water, you foolish pelican! 

Why the eastern grey kangaroo would any mentally stable person take oh so cruel showers? ~ For a whole carnival of reasons, my dear.

I take them because it makes me feel like an absolute badass, like Hercules and Keith Richards had an invincible rock and rolling son {me} who would fearlessly fly Pegasus up in the fluffy, white clouds and daringly play a risky electric guitar solo at the same time. Imagine that, tuts.

I enjoy that badass feeling; full of confidence, energy and positivity – makes a brotha happy to be alive.

Cold showers may not be as cozy as your rich uncle Dickington is when he reads ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ on his furry penguin skin armchair, while puffing multiple warm 100 dollar bills from his West Indian mahogany smoking pipe that was used by sixteen aztec emperors before him– they may not be as cozy as Dickington is.

But they’re worth it, and I’ll tell you why they’re worth it.

Many of us are feeling too snug. How can we get out of our comfort zones?

Many of us are feeling weaker. How can we feel strong, instead?

Many of us are feeling low. How can we feel high without the use of those yummy Canadian crack rocks?

Many of us are getting diseases, getting fat, getting stressed, getting depressed, getting tired and probably the complete worst – getting unpleasant hair and skin! Noooooooo!

Cold showers may not be perfect, but they might help and that is what I’ll be writing about today, boys and girls – how to improve your life with cold showers. Now let’s cannonball into this fresh, freezing pond of powwow!

 


 

Now, what are my 3 reasons for taking Arnold Schwarzenegger level, mr.freezing showers?

1. Can cold showers get you out of your comfort zone?

What’s so marvellous about getting outside of your comfort zone, Iarlaith (ear-lah)? The marvellous thing about it is that outside of your comfort zone is where the magic happens, my friend. Ever done anything scary that turned out to be stupendous? It’s just like that.

Do cold showers help? Yes. Why? Because it is pushing you to the edge of your comfort.

Humans naturally don’t like the cold, so when you are thinking of all of these silly excuses not to do it, that you know are complete poppycock – and then you actually do it – you start flexing the courage muscle in your brain; your comfort zone killing muscle.

Did this radically affect my life? Not really. It wasn’t like my fairy godmother waved a wand at me and *poof* – I’m the most courageous version of myself. However, I do believe it has helped me improve on some level.

2. Do cold showers make you happy?

Happiness is something that everyone strives for these days. No matter if you’re a doctor, a teen, a parent, a duck, a pigeon, an axe-murderer – we all want to be joyous and gay. Even you! Do you? I do.

How do these frosty the snowman showers help us be happy then?

Sexy Science Time: Cold showers have been shown to soothe symptoms of depression due to the intense impact on the cold receptors in the skin, which send an astounding amount of electrical impulses from the peripheral nerve endings to the brain. Thus, producing antidepressive effects and boosting the mood. 

Basically, you feel the cold so intensely that your body sends a big bunch of electrical messages to your brain which makes you happier.

That is definitely true for me. In the mornings, cold showers thrill me up with exhilaration like twisting loudly on the blue rails of a big, curvy roller coaster, feeling the fast gust of fresh wind blow against my face on a sunny day in south Germany.

3. What about your body?

Lots of us want to be spectacularly strong and slim. We want to have radiant clear skin and lovely, luscious hair – why? To be powerful and hot. Those are my reasons. What are yours?

Again, cold showers can knock the withered, white and red baseball out of the park and shatter a sweet old lady’s glass living room window into a hundred sharp, glistening pieces with its cool powers.

Physical benefits of cold showers: 

  • Keeps skin and hair healthy:

    Hot water can make your skin and hair dry. Cold water on the other hand, can make your velvety locks and your smooth skin even velvetier and smoother by closing up your cuticles and pores – this can also help reduce acne.

  • Reduction of fat

    In order to keep the body warm when it is exposed to sudden cold, it must use extra energy to heat itself up. This can burn the nasty, white fat and activate the body’s brown fat; a good fat that increases your metabolism and burns bad fat.

  • Increases testosterone:

    A study by Thrombosis Research Institute showed that cold showers increases testosterone. What’s so great about testosterone? Increased testosterone can not only increase your mojo (libido) but also your strength and energy levels.

  • Increases fertility:

    Want a kid? Cold showers improve fertility in men – don’t want to have a crazy kid? Batman never goes to Gotham without protection *Twinkling wink and a shiny, sparkling smile that makes the sound of a xylophone being tapped*

  • Improves circulation: 

    Good blood circulation is essential for overall cardiovascular health. It also improves recovery from exercise such as a day picking solid, brown, rectangular pieces of turf in the misty bog or sprinting through a long marathon.

  • Strengthens immunity:

    According to a study by Thrombosis again, individuals who took daily cold showers had more virus-fighting white blood cells than the lot who took hot showers. Getting sick less often sounds pretty good to me.


 

By the way, my dad is partially responsible for motivating me to take cold showers, for a while he took them and he always seemed to feel manly after them, like a wild silverback gorilla.

However, as awesome as my papa is, I was mostly inspired to take cold showers after watching a video by The Art Of Manliness.

Improvement Pill also made a very interesting video about comfort zones and cold showers.

BONUS: What were the original showers like?

The original showers that our ancestors bathed in were often very frigid and frosty – I believe they were called ‘waterfalls‘.

Humans throughout history have boldly soaked themselves in icy aqua. From folks in Native North America to Ancient Russia and of course, the famous, icy people in Scandinavia have all immersed themselves in cold, wet water.


 

If you have come this far then thank you, you epic creature! Take a deep breath and feel the rastaman vibration, my comrade. Also, if you enjoyed this post please subscribe and share it with other lads and ladies.

Before this magician vanishes into the white, swishing smoke can I ask you a question? Ready? –

Are you crazy enough to bathe in a cold, bold shower? 😉

– Iarlaith, The Sweet Spud

tomatoes.jpg

Tomatoes

 

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